Addiction Jokes and Puns

These funny addiction jokes and puns will make you and your friends laugh. Also, check out our other funny jokes.

Addiction joke about two alcoholics


Two drunks are driving down the highway drinking beer. All of a sudden they see a police car’s lights flashing in the rear view mirror. “What are we going to do?” asks the drunk passenger. “Don’t worry, I know what to do. Peel the label off your bottle and stick it to your forehead. Let me do all the talking.” They pull over and the cop gets out. “May I see your license and registration?” he asks. The guy gives him his license. “Have you been drinking?” “No officer. We haven’t.” “Well, you were weaving back and forth. Are you sure you haven’t had anything to drink?” The officer asked. “I swear officer. I haven’t had a sip.” “Well why do you have beer labels on your foreheads?” The man answers, “These aren’t labels. We are alcoholics, and we’re on the patch.”

Coffee Addiction Joke


You Should STOP drinking coffee if:
You chew on other people’s fingernails.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You short out motion detectors.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”

Addiction Joke About Alcoholics


A famous brain surgeon opened a resale store in a big city to sell used brains for transplant. He offered a doctors brain for $50,000, a Philadelphia Lawyers brain for $100,000 and an alcoholics brain for $1,000,000! When asked “Why so much for the alcoholic’s brain?” He said, “Because it’s NEVER been used!”