Airplane Jokes and Puns

Here are funny airplane jokes and puns you and your friends can laugh at. Perfect to enjoy while waiting at the airport for the flight. Also check out our other jokes categories.


Airplane meal joke

2017-06-04T08:50:44+00:00

It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. ‘What are my choices?’ Greg asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

Airplane engine trouble joke

2017-06-04T09:37:38+00:00

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”

Funny airplane pilot joke

2017-06-04T09:04:44+00:00

Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before? Passenger: No, I have not. Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping. Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help? Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears.

Nervous airplane passenger joke

2017-06-04T08:44:59+00:00

A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter. She had some time before the flights departure, so she stopped in a Chinese restaurant in the concourse. She started to shake as she read her fortune cookie: “today’s investment will pay big dividends!”

Airline stopover joke

2017-06-04T08:14:04+00:00

I couldn’t decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. “Airfare to Denver is $300,” the cheery salesperson replied. “And what about Salt Lake City?” “We have a really great rate to Salt Lake—$99,” she said, “but there is a stopover.” “Where?”
“In Denver,” she said.

Crashing airplane joke

2017-06-04T08:01:31+00:00

The first-time flier was very nervous as he buckled his seat belt before takeoff. He turned to the woman in the next seat and asked, “About how often do jetliners like this crash?” She thought a moment and replied, “Usually, just once.”

Airplane luggage joke

2017-06-04T07:55:11+00:00

A passenger was having difficulty lugging his oversized travel bag onto the plain. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. “Do you always carry such heavy luggage? She asked, winded. “Never again!” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my friend can buy the ticket!”