Beer Jokes

Here are some tasty beer jokes and puns for you to enjoy while drinking a Heineken or Budweiser. Also check out our other funny jokes.

Beer Joke – 11


Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The policeman said, “What’s he like?” Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

Bike Joke – 3


A tandem rider is stopped by a police car. “What’ve I done, officer?” asks the rider. “Perhaps you didn’t notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back . . .” “Oh, thank God for that,” says the rider –
“I thought I’d gone deaf!

Beer Joke – 5


Two fat men were stranded at sea in a lifeboat. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. One of the guys thought about it and one shouted out, “I wish the ocean was a sea of beer.” The wish was granted.
A little while later the other one shouted, “Great, now we have to pee in the boat!”

Beer Joke – 7


Woman “So do you drink?” Man – “I used to drink a lot, but I quit cold turkey. Woman – “Wow, that must take a lot of self-control.” Man – “Well I found out I was allergic to it, every time I drank I broke out in handcuffs.”