BMW Jokes and Puns

Here are some funny clean BMW jokes and puns. Also, great BMW driver jokes that will make you laugh! The BMW i8 is great. We hope you enjoy these BMW jokes and puns. We also have great Kia Jokes for you.

My boss has a BMW joke


My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn’t help but admire it. “Nice car,” I said as he got out. “Well,” he said, noticing my admiring looks, “Work hard, put the hours in, and I’ll have an even better one next year.”

BMW Dealership Joke


A woman went inside a BMW dealership and started looking around. She sees the brand new BMW and walks over to it. She then bends over to touch the interior and accidentally farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now. As she turns around she sees a salesman standing right behind her. Looking like nothing happened and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the woman with, “Hello, how can I help you?” Hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her incident, she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this stunning vehicle?” He answers, “Miss, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price of the BMW.”

New BMW Joke


A lawyer opened the car door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my BMW.”, he whiningly said. “You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” retorted the officer, “You’re so worried about your BMW that you didn’t even notice that your right arm was ripped off!!!” “Oh my god.” replied the lawyer, “Where’s my gold Rolex watch?