Chess Jokes and Puns

Chess is one of the greatest board games. So for all the checss players out there here are some funny chess jokes and puns. Also check out our other funny jokes.

Funny Chess Joke


A chess master died – after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him! “What’s it like, where you are now,” he asked. “What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news.” “Tell me the good news first.”
“Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they’re all here, and you can play them.” “Fantastic!” the friend said, “and what is the bad news?” “You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”

Chess Joke about a dog


In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say: “What a clever dog!”
But the man protests: “No, no, he isn’t that clever. I’m leading by three games to one!”

Chess Champion Joke


“I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.”

Really long chess joke


Botvinnik died and went to heaven. St. Peter is there as always letting people in or directing them to the gates of hell. Botvinnik sees Korchnoi go into heaven and thinks to himself, “Good, grandmaster chess players get to enter the heaven… ” and he can’t wait to announce to St. Peter that he is one of the greatest chess players who should get the best mansions. When he got in front of Peter he announced boastfully. “I was one the of the greatest chess players in the world. I once beat a master in 12 moves!” St. Peter shakes his head. “I’m sorry we’re not taking in anymore chess players since yesterday.” “Why? I just saw Korchnoi go in…” asked Botvinnik in astonishment. “Oh, forget that one… he only thinks he’s a chess player!”