Chinese Jokes and Puns

Here are funny Chinese jokes and puns. We love Asian people, there are just jokes. Also check out our other funny jokes categories.


Learning Chinese Joke

2017-06-04T15:15:10+00:00

Learn to speak Chinese
Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding (who you hiding)
See me A.S.A.P. – Kum Hia Nao (come here now)
Small Horse – Tai Ni Po Ni (tiny pony)
Your price is too high – No Bai Dam Thing (no buy damn thing)
Did you go to the beach – Wai Yu So Tan (why you so tan)
I bumped into a coffee table – Ai Bang Mai Ni (i bang my knee)
I think you need a facelift – Chin Tu Fat (chin too fat)
It’s very dark in here – Wai So Dim? (why so dim)
Has your flight been delayed? – Hao Long Wei Ting? (how long waiting)
That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching (lynching)
I thought you were on a diet – Wai Yu Mun Ching? (why you munching)
This is a tow away zone. – No Pah King (no parking)
You are not very bright – Yu So Dum (you’re so dumb)
I got this for free – Ai No Pei (i no pay)
I am not guilty – Wai Hang Mi? (why hang me)
Please, stay a while longer – Wai Go Nao? (why go now)
Our meeting was scheduled for next week – Wai Yu Kum Nao (why you come now)
They have arrived – Hia Dei Kum ( here they come)
Stay out of sight – Lei Lo (lay low)
He’s cleaning his automobile – Wa Shing Ka (washing car)
Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

Chinese in a bar joke

2017-06-04T15:18:24+00:00

ONE CHINESE PERSON WALKS INTO A BAR IN AMERICA LATE ONE NIGHT AND HE SAW STEVEN SPIELBERG. AS HE WAS A GREAT FAN OF HIS MOVIES, HE RUSHES OVER TO HIM, AND ASKS FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH. INSTEAD, SPIELBERG GIVES HIM A SLAP AND SAYS, “YOU CHINESE PEOPLE BOMBED OUR PEARL HARBOR, GET OUT OF HERE”. THE ASTONISHED CHINESE MAN REPLIED, “IT WAS NOT THE CHINESE WHO BOMBED YOUR PEARL HARBOR, IT WAS THE JAPANESE”. “CHINESE, JAPANESE, TAIWANESE, YOU’RE ALL THE SAME,” REPLIED SPIELBERG. IN RETURN, THE CHINESE GIVES SPIELBERG A SLAP AND SAYS, “YOU SANK THE TITANIC; MY FOREFATHERS WERE ON THAT SHIP”. SHOCKED, SPIELBERG REPLIES, “IT WAS THE ICEBERG THAT SANK THE SHIP, NOT ME”. THE CHINESE REPLIES, “ICEBERG, SPIELBERG, CARLSBERG, YOU’RE ALL THE SAME.