Funny Clean Joke - 40

Funny Clean Joke – 34

An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, “Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan.” Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, “Car very fast, made in Japan.” When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, “Meter very fast, made in India.”

Funny Clean Joke - 4

Funny Clean Joke – 4

Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

Funny Blonde Joke -65

Funny Blonde Joke – 64

A teenage blonde girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
“Wow!” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”
“Wrong number,” replied the girl.

Funny Clean Joke - 14

Funny Clean Joke – 14

Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night.”
Kid 1: “As if.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”
Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”
Kid 2: “You will in about nine months.”

Funny Clean Joke - 31

Funny Clean Joke – 27

Fred: “Why do elephants wear red nail polish?”
Bob: “I don’t know, why?”
Fred: “To hide in cherry trees.”
Bob: “But I’ve never seen an elephant in a cherry tree.”
Fred: “See, it works.”

Funny Blonde Joke -28

Funny Blonde Joke – 27

A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the salesclerk. “Well, they feel a bit tight,” replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk. “Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the blonde replies.

Funny Office Joke - 33

Funny Office Joke – 33

Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually.
It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.

Funny Clean Joke - 27

Funny Clean Joke – 24

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. “What are you doing!” asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, “My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do something sexy to a tractor.” [to attract her]

Funny Clean Joke - 37

Funny Clean Joke – 31

Jim, Scott and Alex are tired after traveling all day and check into a hotel. When they get to reception, they find out they’ll have to walk 75 flights of stairs to get to their room because the elevator is out of order. Jim suggests that they do something interesting to pass the time while they walk the 75 flights. Jim will tell jokes, Scott will sing songs, and Alex will tell sad stories. So Jim tells jokes for 25 flights, Scott sings songs for 25 flights and Alex tells sad stories for 24 flights. When they reach the 75th floor, Alex tells his saddest story of all, “Guys, I left our room key at reception.”

Funny Clean Joke - 38

Funny Clean Joke – 32

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

Funny Clean Joke - 39

Funny Clean Joke – 33

Jim: “Why are you crying?”
Bob: “I just got slapped in the face by a lady.”
Jim: “What happened?”
Bob: “I was holding a photograph, but I dropped it and it fell underneath a woman’s dress. I asked her, ‘Excuse me, can you hold up your dress? I want to take a photo.'”

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