Clean Jokes and Puns

These funny clean jokes and puns are great for the entire family. Clean enough for everyone. Enjoy some laughs. Also check out our other funny jokes categories.


Funny Clean Joke – 25

2016-06-17T19:41:20+00:00

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, “You’re crazy! You’ll never be able to outrun that bear!” “I don’t have to,” the first lawyer replied. “I only have to outrun you.”

Funny Clean Joke – 26

2016-06-17T19:41:58+00:00

An Amish husband, wife and son travel to the city on vacation. They visit a shopping mall and while the mother is shopping, the father and son are standing in awe in front of an elevator (having no idea what it is). As they watch, an elderly lady walks into the strange silver doors and the doors close. The father and son watch as the numbers go up, and then back down. When the doors open, a beautiful young woman walks out. The father leans over and whispers to the son, “Son, go get your mother!”

Funny Clean Joke – 31

2016-06-17T19:48:57+00:00

Jim, Scott and Alex are tired after traveling all day and check into a hotel. When they get to reception, they find out they’ll have to walk 75 flights of stairs to get to their room because the elevator is out of order. Jim suggests that they do something interesting to pass the time while they walk the 75 flights. Jim will tell jokes, Scott will sing songs, and Alex will tell sad stories. So Jim tells jokes for 25 flights, Scott sings songs for 25 flights and Alex tells sad stories for 24 flights. When they reach the 75th floor, Alex tells his saddest story of all, “Guys, I left our room key at reception.”

Funny Clean Joke – 32

2016-06-17T19:50:15+00:00

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

Funny Clean Joke – 34

2016-06-17T19:51:58+00:00

An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, “Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan.” Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, “Car very fast, made in Japan.” When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, “Meter very fast, made in India.”

Funny Clean Joke – 36

2016-06-17T19:53:12+00:00

A man is walking along a beach and finds a bottle. When he rubs the bottle, a genie appears and says, “I can grant you one wish.” “Well,” says the man, “I have never been too fond of flying, so could you make a highway from California to Hawaii?” The genie says, “Do you know how much of my power that would take?” The man says, “Okay, I have never really gotten girls, so could you make that happen?” The genie says, “You want that highway two lane or four lane?”