Cow Jokes and Puns

Here are funny cow jokes and puns. We also have other animal and farm jokes so take a look at our other funny jokes categories as well.

Silly Cow Joke


Two men are riding on a train through Texas. As the train passes by a ranch the one man turns to the other and announces that there are 1,247 cows on that ranch. The other man exclaims “That’s amazing. I happen to own that ranch and I know for a fact that I have 1,247 head of cattle. How did you ever figure out the number of cows from a speeding train?” “Oh it’s simple” he replied. “I count the legs and divide by four.”

Cow Gas Joke


A Colorado State University animal nutrition professor named Donald Johnson has been studying cow flatulence for 20 years, and has determined that the average cow emits 200 to 400 quarts of methane gas PER DAY, resulting in a total annual world cow methane output of 50 million metric TONS! Don’t light a match around a cow and never allow a cow inside your sleeping bag!!

Mad Cow Disease


There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.” The other cow replies, “Heck, I ain’t worried, it don’t affect us ducks.”