Irish heaven joke

Irish heaven joke

Two Irish friends greeted each other while waiting their turn at the bank window. “This reminds me of Finnegan,” remarked one. “What about Finnegan?” inquired the other. ” Tis a story that Finnegan died, and when he greeted St. Peter, he said: It’s a fine job you’ve had here for a long time. Well, Finnegan, said St. Peter, here we count a million years as a minute and a million dollars as a cent.

Entrance to heaven joke

Entrance to heaven joke

One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang. walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, “God, there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?”. God replied, “Just do what you normally do with that type. Re-direct them down to hell.” St. Peter went back to carry out the order and all of a sudden he comes running back yelling “God, God, they’re gone, they’re gone!” “Who, the New Yorkers?”. “No, the Pearly Gates.”

Judo in heaven joke

Judo in heaven joke

One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a Judo tournament. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, “You don’t have a chance, I have Kano, Mifune, Kotani, Kimura and all the greatest players up here”. “Yes”, snickered the Devil, “but I have all the referees.”

Speeding motorist heaven joke

Speeding motorist heaven joke

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. “How did you know I was speeding?” the frustrated driver asked. The police officer pointed toward the sky. “You mean,” asked the motorist, “that even heaven is against me?”

Heaven Chuck Norris joke

Heaven Chuck Norris joke

A preacher goes into a bar and says “Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up.” Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says “My son, don’t you want to go to heaven when you die?” The drunk says “When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now.”

Pakistani in heaven joke

Pakistani in heaven joke

The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: “What do you want? ” Pakistani man: “I’m here for Jesus.” St. Peter: “Jesus, your taxi’s here!

Baby in heaven joke

Baby in heaven joke

Jimmy’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Jimmy.” Jimmy says, “Now! I can see why they threw him out!

Little Johnny heaven joke

Little Johnny heaven joke

A priest was talking to a group of kids about “being good” and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?” “Heaven! Heaven!” Yelled Little Lisa. “And what do you have to be to get there?” asked the priest. “Dead!” Yelled Little Johnny.

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