Hell Not Heaven Joke

Hell Not Heaven Joke

So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, “You re going to spend eternity with this combo, okay? There’s a bass player named Mingus and a pianist named Monk , and any day now we expect this Blakey guy to show up with his drums. “Wow!” the guy says, “I never imagined heaven would be this good.” The man in the robe says, “This is hell, not heaven. There’s a girl singer.”

Devil Joke

Devil Joke

A woman, whose husband often came home drunk, decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. “Who are you?” he asked. “I’m the Devil!” she responded. “Well, come on home with me,” he said, “I married your sister.”

Going to Hell Joke

Going to Hell Joke

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to hell!” The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, “Man, I’m on the wrong bus!”

Get the hell out joke

Get the hell out joke

A man bursts into his house and yells, “Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery!” She says, “Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?” He replies, “I don’t care … Just get the hell out!”

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