Doctor hospital joke

Doctor hospital joke

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
“Doctor,” says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. “Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?” “I don’t see why not,” replies the doctor. “That’s funny,” says the man. “I wasn’t able to play it before.”

Hospital wheelchair joke

Hospital wheelchair joke

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman — already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet — who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. “I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

Hospital Joke - 4

Hospital Joke – 4

Mohan (to the doctor): “Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?” Doctor: “Your eyesight seems to be poor.” Mohan: “How did you come to that conclusion?” Doctor: “You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital.”

Hospital tour joke

Hospital tour joke

I work in a hospital giving tours to children. One day a group of kindergarten kids came in for a tour, I showed them the x-ray machines and asked them if they ever had broke a bone? One little boy raised his hand, “I did!” “Did it hurt?” I asked. “No!” She replied. “Wow, you must be a very brave girl! Which bone did you break?” I asked. “My sisters arm!”

Hospital bracelet joke

Hospital bracelet joke

My daughter was playing ball outside, when she tripped and broke her leg. I rushed with her to the emergency room. When I was checking her in, the nurse asked for her wrist, saying, “I’m going to give you a bracelet.” “Does it have diamonds on it?” I asked. “No,” she replied. “But it costs just as much.”

Surgery in hospital joke

Surgery in hospital joke

Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”

Funny hospital joke

Funny hospital joke

“Mom? Don’t freak out, but I’m in the hospital…” “Peter, you’ve been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that.”

Driving to hospital joke

Driving to hospital joke

A woman gets into a taxi and asks: To maternity hospital, please.. After a while she asks the driver: Do not drive so fast, please, I’m simply working there.

Blonde hospital joke

Blonde hospital joke

A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She touched her nose and it hurt.
She touched her stomach and it hurt. The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes. “Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!”

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