Irish Jokes and Puns

Here are funny Irish jokes and puns. Irish people have a funny and sometimes crude sense of humor. Perfect to share on St Patricks Day. Make sure to also check out our other jokes categories.


 

Funny Irish Joke – 1

2016-06-18T16:27:04+00:00

An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.
He says: “Have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the priest.
The cop replies: “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says: “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

Funny Irish Joke – 2

2016-06-18T16:27:40+00:00

An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space.
“Lord,” he prayed. “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday.”
Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: “Never mind, I found one!”

Funny Family Joke – 41

2016-06-18T14:49:28+00:00

An English man, Irish man, Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.

Funny Irish Joke – 4

2016-10-31T20:25:35+00:00

Two Irishmen were working in the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
After a while, one amazed onlooker said: “Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.”

Funny Irish Joke – 5

2016-06-18T16:29:46+00:00

Mick and Paddy are walking along when Mick falls down a manhole. Paddy shouts down: “What shall I do?” Mick barks back: “Call me an ambulance!”
Paddy then jumps up and down screaming: “Mick is an ambulance, Mick is an ambulance.”

Funny Irish Joke – 8

2016-06-18T16:33:01+00:00

Even though O’Malley was a licensed scuba diver, he finally got an answer to a question that had annoyed him for decades.
Here it is.
Harold, an American tourist, asked his friend Murphy, ‘Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?’
To which Murphy replies, ‘If they fell forwards they’d still be in the flippin’ boat.’