Lawyer Jokes and Puns

Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories.


Lawyer Joke – 2


The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding,
rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.
The guy replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

Lawyer Joke – 4


A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, “Lady, it says
here that you should be wearing glasses.”
The woman answered, “Well, I have contacts.”
The policeman replied, “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”

Lawyer Joke – 14


A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the
streets, a car was involved in an accident. As expected a large crowd
gathered. Going by instinct, the lawyer was eager to get to the injured, but
he couldn’t get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting
loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.”
The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

Lawyer Joke – 3


A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police
department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed
photo — of handcuffs.

Lawyer Joke – 6


Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, “I hear sirens. Jump!”
The second one said, “But we’re on the 13th floor!”
The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious.”

Lawyer Joke – 7


A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time.
Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window… “Pull over!”
“No,” she shouts back, “a pair of socks!”

Lawyer Joke – 8


“Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court
judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honour,” the husband said. “And every now and then
I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”