Lemon Jokes and Puns

These funny lemon jokes and puns will turn your sour day into a funny one. Enjoy our lemon humor. Also, take a look at our lime and other funny jokes.


Long Lemon Joke

2017-10-15T14:52:11+00:00

A girl goes to Westminster Abbey church a week before her wedding to confess her sins to the priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” “Tell all of your sins, my daughter.” “Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times,” she says. The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, “Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it.” “Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?” the girl replies. “No,” the priest says, “But it’ll wipe that smile off your face!”

Lemon Joke – 11

2017-04-06T03:22:19+00:00

A girl goes to church just a few days before her wedding to confess some sins to the priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” “Tell all of your sins, my daughter.” “Father, last night my boyfriend made really passionate love to me seven times in a row,” she says. The priest thinks about this for quite some time and then says, “Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it.” “Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?” the girl replies. “No,” the priest says, “But it’ll wipe that grin off your face!”