Funny Family Jokes-1

Funny Family Joke – 1

One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, “Why are you home so early?” He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.” She said, “Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?” Jimmy replied, “The question was ‘Who threw the trash can at the principal’s head?'”

Little Johnny Joke - 7

Little Johnny Joke – 7

A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase “Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life…” “What’s wrong with that, Johnny?” the pastor asked. “Well,” answered Johnny, “I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I’m not sure I’d like Shirley following me around all the time.”

Funny Little Johnny Joke -14

Funny Little Johnny Joke -14

During the soccer match Little Johnny sits in the front row. His friend asks: How did you get tickets? From my brother – responds Petya. And where is your brother? At home. Looking for his ticket.

Funny Little Johnny Joke -20

Funny Little Johnny Joke -20

Little Johnny’s class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, “It was so nice of you to put my daddy’s picture up there.”

Funny Little Johnny Joke -11

Funny Little Johnny Joke -11

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

Funny Little Johnny Joke -8

Funny Little Johnny Joke -8

“If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?” “One dollar.” answered little Johnny. “You don’t know your basic math.” said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy.”

Little Johnny Joke - 1

Little Johnny Joke – 1

“I’m afraid I’ll never see you in heaven, Johnny,” the Sunday school teacher said to her most mischievous child. “Why,” questioned Johnny, “What have you been doing wrong?”

Funny Police Joke - 21

Funny Police Joke – 21

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”
The policeman said, “What’s he like?”
Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

Funny Little Johnny Joke -19

Funny Little Johnny Joke -19

Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school. Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?” “Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.”

Little Johnny Joke - 3

Little Johnny Joke – 3

Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.” Johnny says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”

Funny Little Johnny Joke -12

Funny Little Johnny Joke -12

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The policeman said, “What’s he like?” Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

Funny Birthday Joke - 6

Funny Birthday Joke – 6

Little Johnny: Mom, do you know what I’m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, dear, what?
Little Johnny: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I’ve got a nice teapot.
Little Johnny: No you haven’t. I’ve just dropped it.

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