Little Johnny Jokes and Puns

Funny Little Johnny jokes and puns. Johnny is a funny joke character. Most of them are clean jokes so perfect to share with kids, students, family, and friends. Also, check out our other funny jokes categories.

Funny Family Joke – 1
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Funny Family Joke – 1

2016-06-18T14:08:55+00:00

One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, “Why are you home so early?” He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.” She said, “Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?” Jimmy replied, “The question was ‘Who threw the trash can at the principal’s head?'”

Funny Little Johnny Joke -14
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Funny Little Johnny Joke -14

2016-06-19T13:48:00+00:00

During the soccer match Little Johnny sits in the front row. His friend asks: How did you get tickets? From my brother – responds Petya. And where is your brother? At home. Looking for his ticket.

Funny Police Joke – 21
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Funny Police Joke – 21

2016-06-20T17:54:25+00:00

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”
The policeman said, “What’s he like?”
Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

Little Johnny Joke – 1
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Little Johnny Joke – 1

2017-02-10T02:18:41+00:00

“I’m afraid I’ll never see you in heaven, Johnny,” the Sunday school teacher said to her most mischievous child. “Why,” questioned Johnny, “What have you been doing wrong?”

Little Johnny Joke – 6
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Little Johnny Joke – 6

2017-02-10T02:09:35+00:00

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”

Funny Little Johnny Joke -19
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Funny Little Johnny Joke -19

2016-06-19T13:56:26+00:00

Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school. Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?” “Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.”

Funny Little Johnny Joke -8
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Funny Little Johnny Joke -8

2016-06-19T13:38:09+00:00

“If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?” “One dollar.” answered little Johnny. “You don’t know your basic math.” said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy.”

Little Johnny Joke – 2
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Little Johnny Joke – 2

2017-02-10T02:14:35+00:00

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother. “He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband’s baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so much hair?”

Little Johnny Joke – 3
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Little Johnny Joke – 3

2017-02-10T02:13:20+00:00

Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.” Johnny says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”

Little Johnny Joke – 4
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Little Johnny Joke – 4

2017-02-10T02:12:27+00:00

“I’m ashamed of you,” Little Johnny’s mother said. “Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do.” “He threw a rock at me!” the boy said. “So I threw one at him.” “When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me.” “What good would that have done?” Little Johnny replied, “My aim is much better than yours.”

Little Johnny Joke – 5
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Little Johnny Joke – 5

2017-02-10T02:11:18+00:00

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?” Little Johnny’s father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.” “That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny “At least you could try.”

Little Johnny Joke – 7
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Little Johnny Joke – 7

2017-02-10T02:08:39+00:00

A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase “Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life…” “What’s wrong with that, Johnny?” the pastor asked. “Well,” answered Johnny, “I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I’m not sure I’d like Shirley following me around all the time.”

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Little Johnny Jokes and Puns

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