Marriage Jokes and Puns

Here are funny marriage jokes and puns. These jokes will make you laugh whether you are single, married, or divorced. Also, check out our relationship and other funny jokes categories.


 

Funny Popular Joke – 32

2016-06-21T16:16:47+00:00

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

Funny Marriage Joke – 56

2016-06-19T18:18:19+00:00

A husband and wife are watching ”Who Wants To Be a Millionaire,” and the husband winks and says, ”Honey, let’s go upstairs…”
The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no.
So the husband says, ”Is that your final answer?” The wife says yes.
The husband says, ”Well, can I phone a friend?”

Funny Family Joke – 17

2016-06-18T14:26:45+00:00

A married couple, Harry, and Esther are out shopping one morning when Esther says, “Darling, it’s my mother’s birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she would like something electric.” Harry replies, “How about a chair?”

Funny Marriage Joke – 50

2016-06-19T18:05:03+00:00

John and Bob were discussing their married lives. Although happily married to their wives, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. John said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.” “Wow!” said Bob, “how did you manage that?” “It’s easy,” replied John, “my last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’”

Funny Marriage Joke – 47

2016-06-19T18:01:29+00:00

A man is standing at a grave, staring at the head stone. A second man walks up and asks, “Is this someone you knew?” The first guy says, “Yes, it was my wife.” The second guy says, “It must be hard to lose a wife.” The first guys replies, “Yep, damn near impossible.”

Latest Funny Joke-9

2016-06-19T16:17:05+00:00

A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, “It’s my husband, you have to leave!” The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, “Wait, I’m your husband!” She replies giving him a dirty look, “So why did you run?”