Medical Jokes and Puns

Enjoy our funny medical jokes and puns. We also have jokes about doctors, hospitals and other funny jokes categories, so make sure to check them as well.


Medical Joke – 4

2017-02-10T02:37:38+00:00

A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor:
“It hurts when I press here” (pressing his side)
“And when I press here” (pressing the other side)
“And here” (his leg)
“And here, here and here” (his other leg, and both arms)
So the doctor examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong…
“You’ve got a broken finger!”

Medical Joke – 5

2017-02-10T02:36:48+00:00

A distraught man ran into the doctor’s office.
“Doc!” The man screamed, “I’ve lost my memory!”
“When did this happen?” asked the doctor.
The man looked at him and said, “When did what happen?”

Silly Medical Joke

2017-09-24T15:28:21+00:00

A man goes to the doctor. “Doctor, that medicine you gave me isn’t working. Is there anything else I could try?”.
“Fill out this tax form,” suggests the doctor. “How’s that going to help me?”, asks the man. “I’m not sure,” replies the doctor, “but some of my patients say it gives them relief.”

Funniest Medical Joke

2017-09-24T15:12:14+00:00

The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.” “Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

Medical Water Joke

2017-09-24T15:10:20+00:00

One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor said, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.” Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, “Doc, exactly what is my problem?” The doctor replied, “You’re not drinking enough water.”

Medical History Joke

2017-09-24T15:06:18+00:00

Joke Due to a job transfer, Brian moved from his hometown to New York City. Being that he had a very comprehensive health history, he brought along all of his medical paperwork, when it came time for his first check up with his new Doctor. After browsing through the extensive medical history, the Doctor stared at Brian for a few moments and said, ” Well there’s one thing I can say for certain, you sure look better in person than you do on paper!”

Medical Patient Joke

2017-09-24T14:58:28+00:00

It had been a long time—seven years to be exact—since my friend Brian had been to see his doctor. So the nurse told him that if he wanted to make an appointment, he would have to be reprocessed as a new patient. “Okay,” said Brian, “reprocess me.” “I’m sorry,” she told him. “We’re not accepting any new patients.”