Military Jokes and Puns

Here are funny military jokes and puns. We have the best jokes about the Army, and jokes about the Navy, Seals, sergeants, etc.  Also, check out our other funny jokes categories.


Funny Military Joke-25


A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, “hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?” The guy responds, “well, before you tell that, you should know that I’m 6′ tall, 200 pounds, and I’m a Marine. The guy sitting next to me is 6′ 2″, weighs 250, and he’s also a Marine.”
“Now, you still wanna tell that joke?”
The sailor says, “Nah, I don’t want to have to explain it three times.”

Funny Military Joke-22


A Singapore radio station receives a call.
“This is the military. Can you tell us the exact time?”
The deejay asks: “Who wants to know?”
The caller says: “What difference does that make?”
The deejay explains: “If you are spies, it’s three o’clock. If you are pilots, it’s 15 hundred hours. If you are navy guys, it’s six bells. If you are local army cadets, it’s 120 minutes to happy hour.”

Funny Military Joke-14


An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!”
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank.
The CO was so impressed, he asked “How did you do it?”
“Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, “Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!”