Milk Jokes and Puns

Enjoy our milk jokes and puns. Once you are done with these ones, take a look at our cow and other funny jokes categories.

Really funny husband and milk joke


A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6. A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?” He replied, “They had avocados.” (If you’re a woman, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time)

No cream or milk joke


Jean-Paul Sartre is in a cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Sir, but we’ve got no cream. How about with no milk?”

Silly Walmart milk joke


Walmart on a Sunday night. Place is dead, my dad and I are stopping to grab some milk. Just a gallon. Go up to the cashier, she rings us up and we pay for it. “Would you like a bag for that sir?” She asks us. My dad’s swift reply: “No I’ll keep it in the container, last time I put it in the bag it spilled everywhere.”