Nightmare Jokes and Puns

I said to my mate, “I dreamt that I ate a giant marshmallow!” He said, “Let me guess, you woke up and your pillow was gone?”

Q: What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!

Q: What’s Clinton’s worst nightmare?
A: An intern with braces.

What’s a man’s worst nightmare? 1) The Super Bowl is pre-empted by a soap opera. 2) His wife has amnesia and forgets how to cook so he has to. 3) A female boss. 4) He has to ask his wife for money.

Chuck Norris gives his nightmares nightmares.

Why do black people always have nightmares?
Because the last one who had a dream got shot.