Nurses Jokes and Puns

Enjoy these funny nurses jokes and puns. We also have funny jokes about doctors, hospitals, and other similar jokes categories.


Nurse Joke – 9

2017-02-10T18:12:06+00:00

Doctor: “You look exhausted.” Blonde: “I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.”
A tourist is in a hospital with 60 degree burns. The doctor says, “Give him two Viagra’s.” The nurse asks, “Do you think that will help?” The doctor replies, “No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!”

Nurse Joke – 10

2017-02-10T18:04:24+00:00

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.” One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”

Nurse Hiccup Joke

2017-09-25T19:54:32+00:00

A man rushed into a hospital and asked a nurse for a cure for hiccups… Grabbing a cup of water, the nurse quickly splashed it into the man’s face. “What did you that for?” screamed the man. “You don’t have the hiccups now, do you?” said the nurse. “No,” replied the man. “My wife out in the car has them.”

Silly Nurse Joke

2017-09-25T19:52:03+00:00

What is the difference between friends and best friends? When you are in hospital, friends ask: “How are you?” Best friends ask: “Hey brother, how is the nurse?”

Hospital Nurse Joke

2017-09-25T19:41:56+00:00

I had to take my son to hospital after he swallowed ten quarters. He was rushed to surgery. After half an hour I saw a nurse so I asked her how he was. She said, “There’s no change yet.”

Silly Nurse Joke

2017-09-25T19:39:34+00:00

I went to casualty yesterday and said to the nurse, “I’ve been stung by a wasp, have you got anything for it?”
She asked, “Whereabouts is it?” I said, “I don’t know, it could be miles away by now.”