Here are funny onion jokes and puns. We also have some great onion ring jokes. One of the best onion puns is: Why do onions make you cry? Make sure to check out our other funny jokes as well.
My girlfriend had tears in her eyes when I asked her to marry me.
Probably because I proposed with an onion ring.
SHE—”They say that an apple a day will keep the doctor away.”
HE—”Why stop there? An onion a day will keep everybody away.”
One day two onions, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured onion called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured onion was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured onion, “I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through.” “The bad news is that he’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life”.
GRIFFIN: What did the carrot say when the onion told a sad story?
BEN: What?
GRIFFIN: “Stop! You’re making me cry!”
I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, “Do you want a lift”. “No thanks”, they replied, “We’re Walkers”.
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