Soccer Jokes and Puns

Here are funny soccer jokes and puns.  Soccer is the most popular sport in the world, it is only appropriate that we have a soccer jokes collection for you. Also, check out our other funny jokes categories.

Football fans in a church joke


Three old football fans are in a church praying for their teams. The first one asks, “Oh Lord when will Manchester City stop buying the refs?” God Replies, “In the next five years.” “But I’ll be dead by then,” says the man. The second one asks, “Oh Lord, when will Manchester United stop buying the refs?” The Good Lord – answers, “In the next ten years.” “But I’ll be dead by then,” says the man. The third one asks, “Oh Lord when will Barcelona stop buying the refs?”. God answers, “I’ll be dead by then!”

Soccer Joke – 1


During the soccer match Little Johnny sits in the front row.
His friend asks: How did you get tickets? From my brother – responded Petya. And where is your brother? At home. Looking for his ticket.

Soccer Joke – 3


A man went to doctor, “Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer.” The doctor says, “Take these pills, they will help you sleep better.” The man, “I can’t take them, tonight is the final game.”

Soccer fan joke


Three fans were talking about the sad state of their local club;
The first fan blamed…: “I blame the manager; if we could sign better players, we’d be a great club.”
The second fan blamed…: “I blame the players; if they made more effort, I’m sure we would score more goals.”
The third fan blamed…: “I blame my parents; if I had been born in a different town, I’d be supporting a decent team.”

Soccer Joke – 2


A student went to class late, so the teacher asked him, “Why are you late?” He told her, “I was dreaming of a Manchester United football match.” But that did not make any sense for the teacher so she ask,
“Still why are you late?” He answered, “Because there was extra time.”