South African Train Joke

South African Train Joke

Van der Merwe goes to the railway station, and at the ticket office asks: “A return ticket please.” Ticket man: “Where to please?” Van: “Back here, of course, man!”

Silly South African Joke

Silly South African Joke

ou Gamatjie’s father catches him snorting a powdery substance behind the shed. “Gamatjie!!” he yells, “what’s that stuff you’re sticking in your nose? It had better not be cocaine!” “Don’t worry, Papa” says Gamatjie . “It’s only Kool-Aid.” “Kool-Aid? Why would you want to stick Kool-Aid up your nose?” “Because I’ve got a cold,” sniffs Gamatjie. “Well, Kool-Aid isn’t going to get rid of your cold, my boy.” “I know, Papa”, says Gamatjie. “But at least it makes my snot taste lekker.”

Silly South African Joke

Silly South African Joke

Did you hear about the South African who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”

South African Laugh Joke

South African Laugh Joke

Why do South Africans laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

South Afrikaner Joke

South Afrikaner Joke

Van der Merwe is invited to have lunch with the Queen. While sitting at her table he says to her: “Jis you know Queen you have got such a nice house, and you know Queen your clothes are so nice and you know Queen your food is bakgat!” The Queen gets pissed off with this Queen bit and says to Van. “Mr Van der Merwe, you should not be calling me Queen this and Queen that, the correct title is Your Highness”. Van says, “Jislaaikit, that is unbelievable! My brother’s name is also Johannes and he is also a queen!”

South African Genie Joke

South African Genie Joke

An evil genie captured a South African and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn’t die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The South African brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window!

South African SARS Joke

South African SARS Joke

My tax income form was sent back by SARS because of the question “Amount of dependants?” I answered: “65% of the population don’t pay tax, 2,1 million are illegal immigrants, 900 000 are criminals in jail and last but not least there are 789 idiots in parliament. This really bothered me. Who did I leave out?

South African Joke

South African Joke

The trek fishermen use a rowing boat to catch a fish they call harders. The boats are launched from the beach and the fish are caught close in to the shore. Frequently the fish are tied in bunches and sold at the roadside. A Transvaal Mercedes stopped next to a fisherman holding a bunch of harders and enquired, “Wat vra jy vir daar harders?” The fisherman looked at the fish, then stretched out his arm and held the harders a few inches from the driver’s face, “Ek vra hulle fokkol. Wil djy hulle iets vra?

South African Power Joke

South African Power Joke

Baby Bear, sitting in his little chair at the table, looks at his little porridge bowl. “Who ate my porridge?” he sobs. Pappa Bear looks at his big porridge bowl. “Who on earth ate my porridge?” he demands angrily. Mama Bear sticks her head through the kitchen door and shouts, “I haven’t made the porridge yet… BECAUSE THE POWER IS OUT!”

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