South African Jokes and Puns

Enjoy these funny South African jokes and puns. If you are South African, Afrikaans, Zulu, Xosa, etc. you will laugh at these jokes. Also, check out our Jacob Zuma and Nigerian jokes in our jokes categories.


Silly South African Joke


ou Gamatjie’s father catches him snorting a powdery substance behind the shed. “Gamatjie!!” he yells, “what’s that stuff you’re sticking in your nose? It had better not be cocaine!” “Don’t worry, Papa” says Gamatjie . “It’s only Kool-Aid.” “Kool-Aid? Why would you want to stick Kool-Aid up your nose?” “Because I’ve got a cold,” sniffs Gamatjie. “Well, Kool-Aid isn’t going to get rid of your cold, my boy.” “I know, Papa”, says Gamatjie. “But at least it makes my snot taste lekker.”

South African Theft Joke


In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves. They took it out to different countries for a test.
U.S.A: in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
UK: in 30 minutes it caught 30 thieves;
Spain: in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves;
Uganda: in 10 minutes it caught 80 thieves;
Nigeria: in 7 minutes it caught 200 thieves,
South Africa: in 5 minutes the machine was stolen, while the engineers operating the machine were kidnapped!

South Afrikaner Joke


Van der Merwe is invited to have lunch with the Queen. While sitting at her table he says to her: “Jis you know Queen you have got such a nice house, and you know Queen your clothes are so nice and you know Queen your food is bakgat!” The Queen gets pissed off with this Queen bit and says to Van. “Mr Van der Merwe, you should not be calling me Queen this and Queen that, the correct title is Your Highness”. Van says, “Jislaaikit, that is unbelievable! My brother’s name is also Johannes and he is also a queen!”