South African Jokes and Puns

Enjoy these funny South African jokes and puns. If you are South African, Afrikaans, Zulu, Xosa, etc. you will laugh at these jokes. Also, check out our Jacob Zuma and Nigerian jokes in our jokes categories.


 

Silly South African Joke

2017-09-28T19:27:09+00:00

ou Gamatjie’s father catches him snorting a powdery substance behind the shed. “Gamatjie!!” he yells, “what’s that stuff you’re sticking in your nose? It had better not be cocaine!” “Don’t worry, Papa” says Gamatjie . “It’s only Kool-Aid.” “Kool-Aid? Why would you want to stick Kool-Aid up your nose?” “Because I’ve got a cold,” sniffs Gamatjie. “Well, Kool-Aid isn’t going to get rid of your cold, my boy.” “I know, Papa”, says Gamatjie. “But at least it makes my snot taste lekker.”

South African Genie Joke

2017-09-28T19:23:20+00:00

An evil genie captured a South African and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn’t die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The South African brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window!

South African Power Joke

2017-09-28T19:14:26+00:00

Baby Bear, sitting in his little chair at the table, looks at his little porridge bowl. “Who ate my porridge?” he sobs. Pappa Bear looks at his big porridge bowl. “Who on earth ate my porridge?” he demands angrily. Mama Bear sticks her head through the kitchen door and shouts, “I haven’t made the porridge yet… BECAUSE THE POWER IS OUT!”

South African SARS Joke

2017-09-28T19:11:55+00:00

My tax income form was sent back by SARS because of the question “Amount of dependants?” I answered: “65% of the population don’t pay tax, 2,1 million are illegal immigrants, 900 000 are criminals in jail and last but not least there are 789 idiots in parliament. This really bothered me. Who did I leave out?

South African Theft Joke

2017-09-28T19:09:46+00:00

In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves. They took it out to different countries for a test.
U.S.A: in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
UK: in 30 minutes it caught 30 thieves;
Spain: in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves;
Uganda: in 10 minutes it caught 80 thieves;
Nigeria: in 7 minutes it caught 200 thieves,
South Africa: in 5 minutes the machine was stolen, while the engineers operating the machine were kidnapped!

South Afrikaner Joke

2017-09-28T19:08:17+00:00

Van der Merwe is invited to have lunch with the Queen. While sitting at her table he says to her: “Jis you know Queen you have got such a nice house, and you know Queen your clothes are so nice and you know Queen your food is bakgat!” The Queen gets pissed off with this Queen bit and says to Van. “Mr Van der Merwe, you should not be calling me Queen this and Queen that, the correct title is Your Highness”. Van says, “Jislaaikit, that is unbelievable! My brother’s name is also Johannes and he is also a queen!”